Sunday, October 15, 2006

Pictures and thoughts

Oops, two weeks since I updated my blog. It has been a long two weeks too. More on that later, but only if you want to read it. Pictures first, because they are worth a thousand words. :o)

I ordered some qiviek, which is musk ox yarn. It is so soft! And expensive! But I wanted to experience this yarn, so I bought some. Musk ox are so cute. They are closer to sheep than oxen or cows, and they are arctic animals. You comb the undercoat when they start shedding rather than shear them.

Wild Fibers is a very cool magazine too. They have articles on all kinds of fibers and everything related to fibers. I am going to subscribe to it. Their web site is if you are interested. I am a member of the Artic Lace knitalong blog at (I wish I knew how to make links on my blog, but I just haven't taken the time to figure that out yet). I have the book Artic Lace, which is a very interesting book about the Eskimo knitters who work with qiviuk. I recommend it highly.

I have been working on my Leaves of Grass Socks. I am down to the heels on both of them. I think the pattern has turned out very pretty. I knitted them without having a picture as part of the Mystery Sock Knitalong ( To watch the pattern unfold before my eyes without knowing what it should look like was fun. The yarn is Knit Picks Parade in the daffodil color.

Here is a closeup of the pattern:

Six Socks Knitalong has a two color pattern for the October/November sock. It is so pretty. So I started that one. The pink is Opal, and the variegated is Sock It To Me. Both yarns are soooo soft.


Isn't that just the cutest little sock embryo you've ever seen? This pattern is done toe up with a figure 8 cast on. Once I got the hang of it, the cast on wasn't that hard either. I've only attempted toe up once before, and I wasn't happy with it. I've also never done intarsia before. So this is going to be a major learning event. We shall see how this turns out.

Okay, that's the end of the pictures. Now come the thoughts, and they aren't as fun as the pictures, so be forewarned. It has been kinda miserable these past two weeks. I just haven't had much time for the things I love, because Mark has been so needy. I must confess, he is driving me nuts, and that makes me feel very guilty. He has been diagnosed with post traumatic stress syndrome and general anxiety disorder, and he started out-patient counseling at Psychamore last Monday. When I get home from work, he wants to tell me all the things they talked about during the day, and he wants to tell me all his feelings, and it is like a dark depressing cloud just descends on me. I never knew how difficult coping with a depressed loved one could be. This is just as hard as when I was battling my own bouts of depression, in fact, it threatens to bring back my depression. I just don't know what to say to him. I guess he just needs someone to listen, so that is what I do. He's fishing now, and I am so glad he is out of the house. That makes me sound like a terrible person, doesn't it? I feel so selfish and mean when I feel like that. But I just need a little space, a little down time for myself. I hope he starts feeling better soon.

Yesterday was a great day. We had our embroidery meeting, and I worked on the Crewel Confidence GCC. I really am close to being finished. I might try to finish it this week. I also need to do my seminar prework, which is just about an hour's worth of basting. I'll get that done today. Then we went to Hudson's, because Rissa told me they had pretty red dresses in my size. Since all I haven't even LOOKED for a dress prior to yesterday, and seminar is in one week, I figured I should go check them out. Well, here is a personal truth, I HATE shopping for clothes because I HATE my body. It just depresses me to look at clothes that look bad on me. So I went in to Hudson's, looked at a couple of dresses that were for size 10 and 12, and gave up. Typical me. But Rissa came to my rescue, and found several absolutely stunning dresses in my size. One was really, really pretty, but left all my upper shoulders and chest bare, which meant fat hanging out, and I was just not comfortable in it. Then she found two more that I felt more comfortable in, and they are very sexy and pretty. Even more amazing, I FELT sexy and pretty. :o) So I bought them both. Then I asked her to help me find some tops for work. I get to wear jeans, and all I wear are tshirts and big tent shirts, which although they make me feel hidden, really do look hideous. Yes, I know that, but its all about how they make me feel. So Rissa helped me find some really pretty, sexy tops. They are beaded and sparkley, and really pretty. I'm very excited by them all. She should be a professional personal shopper!!!

One week to seminar! I am so excited. Last year was such fun. I haven't even looked at my projects from last year, much less finished them, but it was great. So I'm sure this seminar will be a great experience too. We are driving to Richmond, which I am not looking forward to - 14 hours in a car - ugh! But it will be worth it. Plus, I've never been to Richmond before, so I am looking foward to seeing it too. I will miss my furbabies though. Megan is coming home to puppy-and-cat-sit. One of her friends has already called looking for her! LOL She is such a little social thing. I know all her friends have missed her, and will be glad to see her. I just hate that I won't get to see her. :o(


Cyn said...

Hear! Hear! I definitely agree about Rissa's gift for finding and knowing what looks good. What a treasure she is, huh? We need to take her "thank-you" shopping while we are in Richmond.
It was SO good to see you and Mark last night. We keep you two in our thoughts. Have a wonderful day, sweetie.

Rissa said...

Y'all are too funny. I am just glad I could help! I am also glad that you found some things you liked.

It is hard to have a decent relationship with your body, trust me, I understand that. Things have been getting better for me in that I guess I want to share. At least you are nice and tall. Too bad you can't see yourself through Mark's eyes.

I know it is hard to be the caretaker and admitting that does not make you a bad person, it just tells us you are honest. If you need to talk, I am always there to listen. I wish both you and Mark the best. It will get better, you just have to trust in that.